This post is part of a series where I respond to questions that have brought people from google to this blog which the blog does not answer well at present.

Today someone found the blog by searching:

“therapist tells me her problems. is this part of the therapy?”

Dear Google Searcher,

This not not something that should be a part of a good therapy relationship. Therapists are allowed to self disclose at times but it is something that much be done very carefully and rarely and only in ways that prioritize patient interests. If it feels like your therapists is using you for support in some way this is a giant red flag. Part of what makes therapy unique from a friendship is that the focus of attention should be on the patient rather than the bi-directional type of focus seen in friendships. If something does not feel right in your therapy remember that you can always get a consult with another clinician for a new perspective.