Last week I was speaking in therapy about the therapy I had been in during high school, this included my experience with DBT.
It inspired me to google my DBT therapist. I found his website. He’s moved to a new location very far from where I met with him.
I looked at the list of articles he’s written. There was one on psychodynamic therapy. That threw me off. Nothing about the time I met with him would have led me to guess that. It somehow made me vilify him less, because now the possibility exists that we might have some similar theoretical views.
It’s strange though because everything else on his page is about DBT and CBT, all but this one out of place psychodynamic article.
I decided to read the psychodynamic article.
Looking at the abstract I realize, “I think I’ve read something else that cited something similar”.
I continued reading, “No. I’ve definitely read something else that cited this exact study.”
It only took looking up two recently-ish read articles to find the one I was thinking of.
I’d had this other article folded open on my desk for weeks to the page he’s cited on and not had a clue.
I had that particular page open, because I’d highlighted some interesting quotes. I’d been thinking of writing about it here. I feel the quotes address the key problems I had in DBT.
The highlighted quotes had nothing to do with his contribution to the article, but what a strange coincidence that he would be on the same page.
I decided I want to contact him for my records. The idea is in my head. I’m stubborn and don’t want to let go of the idea once it is there.
As I’ve mentioned before, I am collecting my psych records bit by bit. It started as a effort to get closure with the therapist who kicked me out of school and then spread to all my other treatments as well.
Private practice records are harder to obtain, so I have fewer of those, but gathering as many as I can is a project I pick up from time to time.
I called the number on his website. It was disconnected. Maybe I dialed wrong, I tried again and again and again. Definitely disconnected.
Double checked the website, looks like it may not have been updated since 2008.
I checked the whois info, but it was set to private via a third party.
After some debate, I decided to send an email. Less than ideal for this situation, but I included my phone number and address so he could contact me.
I don’t have anyway of knowing if he still actively checks this email address. It is associated with his domain name and if he’s not updated the website enough to fix his phone number, I have doubts that he would also check the email.
The next day I received two phone calls from a “withheld” number. They didn’t leave a message and I was unable to answer at the time. I wondered if it was him. I’ve been waiting since then to see if this “withheld” number will call again, but they haven’t. I’ve been kicking myself mentally for not excusing myself to answer the phone.
I decided to pursue other options, while waiting.
I looked up his lisence. It’s active and was renewed in Jan 2010, so I know he didn’t just decide to stop practicing.
I called a former employer to ask if they knew a way to contact him. They didn’t.
I called his state license organization to see if they could help. They had information, but couldn’t disclose it due to privacy reasons. Understandable.
I called ABCT(his website said he’s a member). They said that for $54 I could join and gain access to their member database which maybe had the information I was looking for, but couldn’t guarantee.
I realized I could look in the APA member database for him. I ran a search. He showed up, but I received a notice saying “This Member has opted not to publish information in the directory”.
I’ve google searched his name and location in every imaginable combination, including yellow page searches. I only find his old office and the new number that is disconnected.
I googled for obituaries to make sure he’s not dead. Nothing came up, so I assume he is alive.
I’m tempted to send him another email asking if the “withheld” number was him and if so apologizing for not answering and then listing times I am more available to answer the phone. But I don’t feel confident enough that it was him. I have a guess of someone else it might be. If it was him why wouldn’t he send me an email saying he’d tried to reach me by phone unsuccessfully?
It’s funny. A reason I left was because he wanted me to call him whenever I was going to cut. I objected. He said he couldn’t meet with me if I couldn’t agree to that. Now here I am trying to find a way to phone him.
Besides sending him another email, I am out of ideas.
It’s a strange situation. I have a right to my records, but what is one to do when the person holding the records is unreachable?