When I got my first period my Mom told me I might have Cancer. I was in a Disneyland bathroom, the one over by Adventure-land, near the Indiana Jones ride. I told her there was blood on my underwear. Panicky, she bought me a pad from the machine. Outside the bathroom there was frantic conversation between her and my Dad, with her saying it was too early for my period to start. ‘Do you think she has cancer? I think she has cancer! We have to bring her to a doctor!’ My Dad was able to placate her, something he used to be better at back then. I think he’s worn out now-a-days and doesn’t try as much anymore. I continued my day at Disney and did not have Cancer.

One time my Mom ordered salmon at a restaurant. She had eaten salmon many times before. That night she got food poisoning. She decided it wasn’t food poisoning and that she was allergic to salmon. Whenever she gets sick after eating something she says ‘oh it must have been cooked next to some salmon’.

One time my mom asked me if maybe adderall had made me gay.

In elementary school I bought a bar of handmade rose scented soap at a craft fair. I brought it home and showed my Mom. She said I couldn’t use it. “What if you’re allergic to it?” Instead, I could keep it as something decorative.

The bar of soap sat in my room at my parent’s house in the same spot up until a month ago. I had to pack everything up. They’re moving. I took the bar of soap with me to my new apartment. I washed my hands with it, even though I prefer liquid soap. I didn’t have an allergic reaction.